Christmas

All posts tagged Christmas

Santa is a Time Lord

Published January 4, 2013 by clanofthesleepingbear

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While in the car today S started asking me about Santa: Where is the North Pole? What’s Mrs. Claus’ first name? What color hair does Mrs. Claus have? What color is Santa’s hair? Why?
I explained that both Santa and Mrs. Claus had white hair because they were quite old, which led to more questions about their mortality. I fended these off explaining that Santa and Mrs. Claus will live forever. Just like the Doctor.
Huh. They live for at least hundreds of years. Santa flies around the entire world in one night, making millions of stops. He manages to tote with him on this impossible flight several packages for each of the millions of children, and he does it all without even refueling. He also enters each home magically, without using a door (and many of us are without fireplaces).
All of this would be quite possible for the Doctor.
Think about it. Flying around the world in an open sleigh is a tough ride. Between the altitude and the windchill there’s no way the Santa/reindeer crew would survive that flight in an open sleigh. Flying around the world in a TARDIS whose cloaking device is set on Open Sleigh and Reindeer would solve that problem. It would also solve the travel time problem, the gift storage issue, and the home-entering puzzle. Coupled with the apparent immortality of the Clauses, it seems quite obvious: Santa is a Time Lord.

Toy Can

Published December 27, 2012 by clanofthesleepingbear

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It looks like Christmas threw a party with her friends Gift Wrap and Toy Store, and they all puked in my living room. So what does the baby play with? An empty can of soda that she fished out of the over-full recycling bin. Twice. I took it away from her the first time and shoved it underneath some bottles and she went back for it again.

Make that three times.