Anyone who knows me, knows that I’m not fond of bugs. Or spiders. Or any of the ‘creepy crawly’ type creatures. Rodents, snakes, and reptiles are all fine. Enjoyable, even. But not bugs.
I’ve always been a big fan of squishing unwanted creepy crawlies that wander into my home. It’s cruel, yes. Husband refuses to kill these things, and instead relocates them to their proper home, aka Outside. Despite his penchant for what I consider excess critter kindness (they’re bugs!!), and my completely adorable yet almost crippling fear of all things with more than four legs, he’s not at all appreciative of me waking him up to relocate bugs. Am I just supposed to go to sleep knowing there is something crawling everywhere and anywhere in my house??? Fat Chance.
Now when I find an Uninvited in the house late at night, I put on Husband’s shoes and stomp the thing to death. If he doesn’t like it he needs to be less grumpy about being woken up.
Husband is away this weekend. Word seems to have spread around the yard & they’ve all conspired to invade my house. There’s a large spider on the ceiling of the upstairs bathroom, right over the doorway. My hair is a fright because all of my products are in that bathroom, and that room is now off-limits.
Worse, there’s a huge bug in the dining room. I mean HUGE. So big that I couldn’t step on it, as its the size of a baby mouse. Not a pinkie, either. More fuzzy size.
One in the morning and I’m locking all the windows, in a fit of home-alone paranoia. There IT is, black as night, sitting on the base of the girls’ Little Tikes salon chair. I look at It, It looks at me. I back away, and make a mad dash for a pair of gigantic shoes. I clomp back, and take another look. There’s just no way I can kill this thing and feel anything but horror. Sigh. Now what? It’s too far away from any door so I can’t chase it out, and I can’t leave it free. Husband will be home in 18-20 hours. What do I do????
It took a ridiculous amount of courage to do that. I’m not proud.