This house has a ridiculous lack of wine. Why do I only want wine when Husband is away? So inconvenient. It’s not like I could leave the kids sleeping and pop off to the liquor store. It’s close, but not that close. Probably 2 miles. Is two miles too far to go when abandoning/neglecting your children? I just have to drive half a block, then down one road, all the way down another road, then onto the local highway. The way back is a bit more convoluted. I think Social Services would think 2 miles is too far. Social Services probably thinks the back deck is too far, as my monitor doesn’t work very well out there. I guess I’m stuck here, in a house filled with sugar and chocolate, but absolutely no wine. Unless you count that really old bottle of chianti in the basement, that I got at a regifting party last December. Hmmm….
Come to think of it, Social Services probably frowns on drinking when you are the only adult in the house. It sounds irresponsible, when phrased like that. Although, when you think about it, being drunk on wine is better than being in a sugar coma from a sudden onset of diabetes. At least I can still dial 911 when I’m drunk. Not that I was planning on getting drunk. Or passing out from excess sugar. Everything in moderation.
If liquor stores delivered this wouldn’t be an issue. Oh, wait, there’s still that drinking while caring for children thing. Yeah, I don’t see a way around that one. I guess I’ll just fold laundry sober.